Saturday, January 17, 2009

When Indians return to India from US...

A small list of some awesome facts; facts because it really happens when someone returns to India from US (Amreeka return ki chhaap). As for me, I already had 1/3rd of it in me and can never get 1/3rd of it; but I also learned 1/3rd. I did some modifications & additions too, but I love it. Top 25 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US", check it out...
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25. Carries 1 dollar bill(s) in wallet & flashes them at any chance of opening wallet (takes out dollar in place of rupees and say, "Oh sorry, i m in India")
24. Speaks wrong English with slang and when pointed says "Oh shit!! I just hate this British English, American English is cool!!"
23. Always Says "Hey" instead of "Hi", uses 'dude' & 'guy/gal' a lot. Also uses Nope for No and Yep/Yo/Yeah for Yes.
22. Says 'Thank You' or 'Sorry/Excuse Me' or 'Oh shit!'everywhere in response to anything.
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel or any small shop/store too.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
19. Sprays Deodrant such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me' & 'Bless You' in response for others.
17. Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds"; Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi"; Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate"; Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit"; Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway"; Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go"; Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)
16.Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), weight in Pounds/lbs (not KGs), liquids in Gallons (not Litres) and counts in Millions/Billions. (Not in Lakhs or Crores)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 40-50 as needed).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket or food product.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh, Excuse me! British Style!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complains about long fights & "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff & keeps complaining about overuse of oil & spices in Indian food.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of normal Coca Cola and fat-free or less-fat snacks.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule"
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food or roadside shops.
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 6 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one:1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."
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Can you guess what applies to me here & what does not, lol? Wanna add/remove some, comment & let me know... Enjoy!!!

2 comments:

SouMukh said...

Yep ... a lotta them apply to me .. but seriously man .. i used to do all that before I went to US too .. except for just 1 thing ..

I have started complaining about the traffic scenario post my return.

Good stuff

Cheers

Rahul T. said...

Yeah Dude, it really happens and it applies to most of us. As for already having many of this in us, I guess we already had US return qualities in us ;)
Thanks for visiting the blog!!